Disgusted

So I added this new ticker at the top of my blog. I like it. I like the quote it has. At first, I had my starting weight as my weight at the beginning of January when I started back on my "journey." But then I thought, I have worked hard just to get to this point. I've made a lot of changes already, so I want to see the difference from the very beginning of my journey (what I like to call when I was Super Fat) until I reach my goal weight.

Now, when I did this I didnt realize that it would list exactly how much weight I will lose from my super fat starting point to my healthy weight, but OMG!!!! That's a whole person!!! When I reach my goal I will have lost a whole person!!!! That disgusts me! I mean, like I am sick with myself that I EVER let myself go to the point where I weigh a whole extra person! And so far I've lost almost 43 pounds. It was 50 pounds, but when I quit Jenny Craig I gained some back from not using what I knew to stay on track. But 43 pounds!!  That is the size of some of the kids in my room. I mean REALLY! I have already lost a small child!

 All I can do is ask myself why.Why did I ever let myself get to that point? I've heard someone say, or I read it somewhere before, that the only way to get over what holds you back from losing weight is to confront what has happened to you up to that point and WHY you let it affect you enough to get you to where you are now. So, I am ask myself, "Why?" I'm going to have to ponder this question before I answer it. Because when I figure it out, I will deal with it, get over it, and move past it so that I NEVER weigh a whole extra adult person again!